I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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