I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
