I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
