Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize