I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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