Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
