yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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