Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
