kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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