You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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