Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
