So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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