just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
