I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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