ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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