big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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