ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
