WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
