I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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