I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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