Buhtt sex?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
