dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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