what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
