her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
