he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
