did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
