i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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