4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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