From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
