She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
