he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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