I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
