Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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