Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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