the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
