I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
