it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
