Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
pop tarts are not kleenex
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
