I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
