Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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