The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize