I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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