I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
love makes seman taste better
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
