Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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