Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My hand turned me down

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(314): View more from Missouri

He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

No. Take one for the team.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.

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(904): View more from Florida

This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

The side bitch struggle is real.

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(713): View more from Texas

I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.

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