But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?