'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
