Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

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  (815): I gave up sex with dolphins for you. http://tfl.nu/rt8h
  Replies (10) Good night (1401) Bad night (887)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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  (517): I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans. http://tfl.nu/ad7f
  Replies (8) Good night (983) Bad night (3528)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (693) Bad night (4146)
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  (716): View more from New York

  And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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  (716): And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/r0kt
  Replies (19) Good night (927) Bad night (4064)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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  (561): I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog http://tfl.nu/8q9l
  Replies (34) Good night (5562) Bad night (905)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...

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  (203): so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin... http://tfl.nu/2jr9
  Replies (23) Good night (1250) Bad night (5606)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5589) Bad night (1366)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you still have morals?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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  (443): its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike (303): you still have morals? (443): Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole http://tfl.nu/6ecs
  Replies (46) Good night (9946) Bad night (1699)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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  (518): i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock http://tfl.nu/9mlf
  Replies (9) Good night (6662) Bad night (1135)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3894) Bad night (815)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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  (303): Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop. http://tfl.nu/81x3
  Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (1865)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2652) Bad night (707)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

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  (401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (1209)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay

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  (519): Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay http://tfl.nu/j10h
  Replies (4) Good night (2558) Bad night (606)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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  (315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (329)

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