It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize