Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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(214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y

Replies (15) Good night (680) Bad night (4027)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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(317): Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am. http://tfl.nu/ygwv

Replies (11) Good night (932) Bad night (5393)
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(516): View more from New York

everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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(516): everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no. http://tfl.nu/bnsc

Replies (85) Good night (4305) Bad night (1312)
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(707): View more from California

They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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(707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2

Replies (20) Good night (1043) Bad night (4967)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?

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(651): Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag? http://tfl.nu/dgvl

Replies (16) Good night (1243) Bad night (3260)
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(707): View more from California

You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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(707): You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative http://tfl.nu/7tsg

Replies (16) Good night (1141) Bad night (5641)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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(401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d

Replies (12) Good night (3881) Bad night (983)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(505): His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left. http://tfl.nu/dyjo

Replies (6) Good night (2852) Bad night (897)
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(801): View more from Utah

I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience

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(801): I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience http://tfl.nu/nrax

Replies (8) Good night (2582) Bad night (906)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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(705): I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth http://tfl.nu/7ynn

Replies (12) Good night (1887) Bad night (648)
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(516): View more from New York

is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?

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(516): is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is? http://tfl.nu/4m9k

Replies (6) Good night (1190) Bad night (534)
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(561): View more from Florida

You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...

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(561): You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day... http://tfl.nu/6lgs

Replies (20) Good night (4213) Bad night (577)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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(931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj

Replies (6) Good night (1850) Bad night (375)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.

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(651): Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz. http://tfl.nu/u6wd

Replies (6) Good night (1292) Bad night (296)
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(813): View more from Florida

Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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(813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl

Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (253)

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