I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends