That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.