someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At least life still wants to fuck me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
