btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.