the condom got lost in my hair
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize