her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize