he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
