i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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