Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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