there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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