Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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