The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
