The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
420 ftw
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
do nipples grow back?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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