Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude. I can hear the air.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize