I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
