She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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