I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
