seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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