yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
